By Ateeq Rehman -
MINNESOTA - Helping out his out-of-town girlfriend, Jeremy Hertson agreed to walk her chihuahua, pug mix dog, Rocco. Wiping buttercream frosting off his lips, Jeremy told reporters, ”Yeah I had no idea just how intense this walk would be! Sarah told me to take him out to the park nearby, which is about 4 blocks away from her apartment. Boy was I shocked when Rocco hadn’t even showed any signs of slowing down at 4 blocks! The nut job took me down another 5 maybe 6 blocks before finally taking a shit.”
It was at the end of the 9 or 10 block walk that Jeremey happened upon Cupcake City. Realizing he had walked a maybe whole mile and would have to walk a maybe whole mile back to Sarah’s apartment, Jeremy did not hesitate to walk in and purchase the special of the day, an “ultra red red velvet cupcake with buttercream frosting”.
“I know I’ll feel the walk tomorrow, but that’s why I deserved this treat!” Jeremy beamed, showing reporters his red-stained teeth. Jeremy’s expression changed from jovial to solemn and he refused to answer any more questions stating that he had to, “focus for the walk back”.
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